LEARN TO LOVE YOUR KIDS – EQUALLY!

You can say that you love your children but not all parents can came to terms of loving their own children equally! There might be preferences, probably because one child appears to be more intelligent, wealthy, hard working, charismatic, obedient, promising, cheerful in giving and so on than the other(s), you have no right to love one child than the other because they all have equal rights and should be given equal treatments. Most parents tend to show preferences for their favorite child subconsciously but children are naturally inquisitive and tend to react to issues more differently. If as a parent, you have been exhibiting this kind of attitude around your children, now is the time to stop it. If you think it is not affecting anything now, you are toying with the unity and love that will cease to exist among them when they eventually become grown up adults and by then, you will be looking for a way to bring them together in the “love” that you already killed probably when they were teenagers. 

It is only natural to prefer a child over the others because of one or two things but it is not wise for you to make it obvious. If you buy something for A and you don’t buy for B, how do you think B would feel? If you begin to compare the academic performances of A to that of B, do you think that B will be pleased with you? Then again, if you keep telling A negative things about B, do you think that they can be friends? Talk less of brothers? Watch your actions when you are around your children. Little things like giving A small piece of meat and B, 2 pieces could become an issue in the nearest future, if you are not careful. No matter the age gap between or among them, treat them as equal while you put in them the consciousness to always respect their elders. Do not make a public disgrace of one in front of the other. Deal with each child according to his or her own uniqueness. 

Find out that special thing in each child and build his/her self esteem on that. If they can’t learn to show love and compassion over their siblings now, is it when they are all grown and matured that they will learn? Teach them how to make compromises for their siblings. In some families today, you see children of same parents in school where the younger one is being bullied by other students and the elderly one simply pretends not to have seen it. What would you say about that? It’s clear that the younger one is probably being too pampered at home while the elder one being ignored, so he feels other kids should teach him a lesson. If you don’t set the foundation straight, there is nothing you can do when they become adults. Parents please do not push your children too hard. As much as they need to be disciplined, always find a way to bring them close because they are still a part of you whether you like it or not, dead or alive. Show your children equal love and they will reciprocate it more than you ever expected but if you place one higher or important, only you will be able to tell the story of the outcome.